Kid Nation: The Definitive Social Commentary

This is a new segment I will TRY to update every week, in which I explore the parallels between the reality show Kid Nation, and the world in general. I had an epiphany while watching a mob of thirty-nine adolescents illogically babbling about their religion. Then I realized it was a perfect reflection of modern society. AWESOME!!!!

Episode 4: Bless Us, Keep Us Safe

In this episode, the city council was reminded that faith is VERY important to ten-year-old kids. This presented them with a dilemma, split the town by religion and hold separate services for each, or come together on common ground and worship together. As soon as the city council attempted to give the unruly masses some input, the flags were raised and blood was spilt in the name of ________.

As always, two or three out of every thirty-nine people are confident and open minded enough to suggest that religion is common enough in its general purpose that everyone should be able to get along in a group ceremony. In this case it was a calm, outspoken Jew, and a humble Hindu child. Unfortunately, while they were calling for reason, the other thirty-seven were strapping bombs to their chests or denouncing the very existence of such a divine creature.

It is sad to see that some actively religious parents are still raising such ignorant intolerant youngsters in a time that encourages and welcomes diversity. Even worse, the majority of those arguing and getting upset were some denomination of Christianity. As I watched the conflict climaxing, I was truly frightened, the siege of Jerusalem was beginning and I was quickly losing faith in all kid-kind. As I wept for the youth so needlessly wasted by the world’s folly, the frustrated council quickly announced that there would be a group worship later that day and dismissed everyone before they could react. Of course, this was a terrible way to go about it, and when the time came, no one but the council was there.

The city was wounded and they needed a healer, a spiritual healer. One of the older members of Kid Nation, a sweet Christian girl whose name I don’t care enough about to look up, took up the needle and thread, and wove Kid Nation back together. This was a great redemption for the Christians of “Kid Nation,” seeing as they were the dominant ignorant force at the earlier meeting.

Social Generalizations Founded on Kid Nation

1. The Christians and Christian affiliated sects are the dominant Ignorant force throughout history until the present. Fortunately, the real Christians that come along every five years or so make up for the hordes of bad ones.

2. The Muslims are almost as bad, there just aren’t as many of them in our region. The second generalization for the Christians also applies.

3. The Jews sound to bossy despite their logic, therefore they will always be criticized and laughed at. Also, for anyone who follows the show, Jared is a Jew, that’s not a good thing.

4. The Hindu comprised possibly two of the two reasonable voices during the initial argument while the others were busy denouncing everyone but themselves. This just shows you that the peaceful accepting teachings of the Hindi are doomed to be drowned by the senseless babbling of forty-year-old children.

5. The Atheists/Agnostics didn’t do anything at all, but at least they’re friendly right?

This ends the first episode of my Kid Nation Coverage. Maybe someday we’ll be a society that can’t be truthfully judged by the actions of forty stupid children, but since now’s not that time, let the child exploitation continue!