Firstly, I would like to introduce myself and let you know that, "YES, I DO WRITE HERE!" I have been busy not posting and I just so happened to have a few minutes to let you all know about one of the smashing movies that you should see this summer. Bugs Bunny: Gunsmoke Holocaoust, better known as Shoot 'Em up.
The drawing point is obviously Clive Owen, and dear sweet Paul, but even if you somehow don't know them, there's still enough killing to leave any red-blooded American exiting with a flag at full mast. "BUT WAS IT GOOD?!" asks the reader. To that I would say, maybe...
OK, this is just one of those movies that you have to accept. In fact, that's probably why Micheal Davis cast two gods as stars. The movie doesn't have any weight without them and if they weren't so damn good at talking, it would have just been another shitty action movie. Although it wasn't necessarily bad, I found myself tear up with thoughts of what could have been, "because I deserve a hot juicy action movie god dammit!!" It was only sub-par as an action movie, however its comedy/educational aspect was great. Here's What I learned from Shoot 'Em Up:
1. Don't ever hold a gun near Clive Owen.
2. Eat your god damned carrots.
3. Having a tattoo, earings, or liking heavy metal music will get you shot.
4. Democrats are immoral bastards!
5. Prostitutes make great mothers.
6. It's not that hard to kill large groups of armed men.
I liked the movie, I really did, I just prayed for something that might be impossible, a good plot in a high octane action flick. Maybe in the future Micheal Davis will make a "good" movie, I can only hope that more well known actors risk their reputation to make action movies everywhere a little bit easier on the brain. On the skull scale, I give it an 7/10. *Throws chair into monitor*
